Insert Chassis Albuquerque: Chapter 8 - The Short Skirt: "Gretta Garbo With Two `T's"

Chapter 8 - The Short Skirt: "Gretta Garbo With Two `T's"



My phone rang again.
Ronald Ford was heading over to GARBAGE later tonight, a small club where a lot of counterculture types tended to hang out (before moving on to whatever was the next newest, most popular counterculture club whenever GARBAGE died). GARBAGE provided a platform for poets, writers and singers. Every few nights famous singers and actors would drop in to check out the acts. It was a careful, delicate symbiosis between the counterculture types and the famous, who wanted to be seen to be a part of of whatever was going on and try tap into the momentum of the movement - one would influence the other’s success.
Ronald wanted me to meet his date, Gretta Garbo, an up-and-coming film actress.
Obviously not the famous Swedish actress, Greta Garbo, a fact this Garbo had sought to clarify with me almost immediately.
“It’s Gretta, with two T’s,” she corrected me when we met.
“What’s the difference…?” I said.
I hadn't meant to sound so full of shit.
But I had.
And I kind of enjoyed it.
Even Ronald Ford had smirked.
She was beautiful, alright, but there was just something about this Gretta Garbo that riled people.
It wasn’t because she was so American.
And it wasn’t because she wasn’t Swedish.
It was because she thought she could act.
She was an actress in the American fashion – can’t act, overpaid and under qualified but she sure had a hot-shit body. Unfortunately, her dialog was like a fight between a ballerina and a boxer, with her just clumsily sliding her way through scenes and, you know, truthfully her body was a much better actress than she’d ever be. Of course, I didn’t say that to her, that would’ve been absurdly and unnecessarily cruel. So, no, Ronald Ford said that to her when Gretta was telling us how she’d just returned from auditioning for a new movie by Holland Tiburg (you know, the guy who'd directed Arum Lily & the Kite? Tiburg, world-renowned for his film-craft and attention to detail wanted to make a movie and set it in Downtown Tokyo).
"I met him…!" Gretta said excitedly.
“You met Tiburg…?” I said, impressed.
 "I sure did - he wanted me to go down on him…!"
"Holy shit - that motherfucker…!" I said.
Ronald said: “So completely inappropriate! Why, this is the 21st century, I bet some women felt they had to say yes just to get the part! We should report him…!”
Ronald Ford was 6 foot, black and weighed 210 pounds. Ronald Ford didn’t even workout, he just worked “security” when he wanted to work because he needed money. I could tell: Ronald wanted to go see Tiburg, without a casting appointment, make his way through security (which would be very easy - I’d known Ford all my life and had never seen him lose a fight) and beat that asshole, Tiburg!
Gretta Garbo had gone pretty quiet.
Very suspicious.
"I got the part…!” she creamed.
“You did…?” Ford said, surprised.
“I did it for us, it meant nothing, of course…!" Gretta with two T’s insisted quickly. “Don’t worry, I mean, he filmed it, too, so I know everything’s legit.”
“Holy shit-fuck - Tiburg filmed you giving him a blow job…!” Ronald Ford screamed.
“Of course! They had to make sure I’m right for the part. And I am! I’m going to be a star…! Let’s order, I wanna celebrate…!” Gretta said.
“A star! A star is what’s in the sky and not on their goddamn hands and knees giving head to some asshole director!” Ronald shouted.
She’d claimed to have done it for the two of them, it had meant nothing - even though Ronald Ford wasn't in the movie or receiving any kind of payment.
So seemed to me it seemed to Ronald Ford it had meant something.
Gretta said: “Tiburg said you’d react this way! Jesus! You’re so goddamn predictable. Oh, why don’t you want what’s best for me…! Oh my God, why didn’t I see this coming…!”
Then Gretta with two T’s called Ronald a fascist.
Ronald didn’t deny it.
It was all very theatrical, her acting, Tiburg, even this “celebratory” dinner - I mean, what were they actually even celebrating, that she'd given that asshole a blow job?
"I think you'll find it's called a fellatio," she told me defensively.
"What the fuck's the matter with you…!" Ronald screamed.
“With me…? Look, I don’t want to cause a scene. We’re supposed to meet him tonight to discuss the script,” Gretta said.
Ronald Ford said: "There's only one difference between being a fascist and an actress, one important difference - I didn’t suck some crumby director off!"
Gretta stood up to leave, then quickly looked back at Ford again and went viral. Not around the world, what I mean is she spat in Ronald Ford’s face. That’s just the type of girl she was, she didn’t mean anything by it, she just didn't like to hear the truth.
“I’m going to be a star…!” she'd said determinedly.
Gretta, she was nothing but some fucked up little Shakespeare.
Then Tiburg arrived with his retinue and all hell broke loose.
Ronald Ford hit Tiburg with our table.
Tiburg cartwheeled head-over-heels backwards across the counterculture movement and into the bar.
Gretta Garbo ran over to Tiburg and cradled him.
“Look what you’ve done…! Look what you’ve done…!” Gretta cried at Ronald.
I ate a tangerine, something this particular counterculture group were advocates of. Seems to me a lot of counterculture movements had a fruit to represent most of their interests. The other thing about these counterculture movements was they weren’t too keen on the law. The law was something that often tried suppressing them.

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