Insert Chassis Albuquerque: October 2017

26 October 2017

The Customer - Or: The Asshole.

“What's your best price?” the customer asked.
“Best price?” 
“Yes.”
“Hmm, I see - let me check with my colleague,” I said and signalled him to come over. “Got an asshole over there who wants a best price,” I said conspiratorially.
Immediately my colleague also said: “Hmm - best price is the price you see, sir.”
He looked at me and grinned – I grinned back at him. We agreed: The customer was an asshole. 


20 October 2017

The Very Old, Old Man.

Image result for old age signHe sees himself, an out-of-body experience. He’s hallucinating and realises he’s so tired he’s just looking in the mirror; so he took a long, long look: Tarnished grey, the colour of a very sad old man's hair.
“I’m just an old, old man getting older the longer I stick around.”
Well, that’s life for you. The requirements listed are:

1)    You get old
2)    Become disagreeable
3)    Maybe suffer dementia
4)    And definitely refuse to accommodate anyone

It's not that he’d chosen to become irritable, have extreme mood swings and hallucinations (and possibly need a little psychiatric hospitalisation), it’s just he'd been living comfortably all this time when in just a few more years time, further demonstration of Life’s built in obsolescence and depreciation, he'd probably be:


12 October 2017

That Point Men Arrive At...

He was clearly at that age when men would naturally hoot and holler and yell at all the girls and women. Nothing was ever meant by it, hell, I can't explain it, either, and I'm a man.


4 October 2017

The Philosophy Of Honesty For The Writer.


Image result for ear coordination problemsPeople share interesting variations on the philosophy of honesty. For instance, my mother refuses to lie and maintains she’s only ever lied once in her life. And she says the enormity of her truthfulness over the years is such that - statistically speaking – she’s therefore never lied.
As a writer I’m prone to exaggeration. I guess it's inevitable. I believe it’s okay to exaggerate as long as you don’t lie; these subtle differences you should be aware of, for it’s a very fine line we tread. An ironic fact: I was almost kept back a grade because I was unable to read.
Diagnosis? Severe co-ordination problems.