Insert Chassis Albuquerque: The Doctor - A Cure For Writing.

11 September 2017

The Doctor - A Cure For Writing.

“What ails you – any symptoms?” the Doctor asks.
He must be in his early fifties, this good natured doctor, maybe fifty-two or fifty-three. His earnestness (in this day and age) is novel and surprising, such unprecedented eager enthusiasm to solve this medical challenge.
However, he, the patient, remained silent. Besides, plumbing new depths of professional time wasting, there’s no real formal training for this kind of disease.
“Well, why don’t I take a look,” the Doctor says helpfully.
The good doctor’s undeterred in his pursuit of an accurate, conclusive and helpful remedy and performs all the routine physical checks; the patient, considering the lack of any symptoms, perplexingly appears normal.
Image result for doctor prescription"Do I know you, have we met before?" the Doctor wonders as he examines him; he surely feels some vague familiarity.
The patient shakes his head.
No? Well, the symptoms may have subsided since you first took ill. Any shaking, sweating, irritability? Maybe palpitations, some light headedness or drowsiness,? Aggression, that kind of thing...?”
The patient’s a long, comprehensive list of a mixed bag of ailments and, a little embarrassed, looks at the floor seeking some solace there instead; the floor offers little, other than his polished grey, cement reflection.
They do one more test, a finger-prick of blood is taken and fed into a machine.
“Well, what I can see is pretty helpful as a criteria for diagnosis, just what I figured,” the doctor says, reading the results.
He summarises, delivers his brutal diagnosis: “It appears you are a writer, and slightly below par, by the look of it.”
A writer!
And an indisputable machine has said so.
“And slightly below par, too, from what I can tell,” the Doctor observes from the results. “Well, it’s treatable, but chronic – I’d suggest maybe some kind of topical solution, some cheap localised, on-the-shelf cure to try lessen the symptoms and discomfort. There’s unfortunately no medical procedure to help."
The good-natured doctor remains unphased .
“Look,” he says, “it could be worse. If it’s any consolation, there are probably people far, far worse off than you, I mean, think of people in Retail or some other lousy job. Hey, you write anything recently? Maybe I can take a look, maybe help with the editing?”
The patient shows him a piece he's been working on for - maybe 10 years.
The Doctor says: “Hmm. That's it, that's all? There a lot of unnecessary words. It’s not bad but that medication will help clean up your grammar some, in fact, as a second opinion, let’s double-up on the dose per day and with any luck we'll induce a big enough reaction to make you forget all this writing shit...!"